HOLY HADES! Three posts in one day. I am on a roll@@@@@@@@@@@@= me rolling
So I have moved back home to Ontario. It was a difficult decision but I know i made the right one. I am home. I am a tad safer. I can live and breathe again. I also have the Maple tree( I know it may sound lame but it is big and beautiful I believe it is almost a century old ) . I have my family, My support team.I have my Mommy and I am not ashamed to say it.
I have had around six Grand Mals in the last three weeks. Two were on Tuesday. Aside from that I also had a scary overly long petite mal or two. Of course there are always the small ones aswell.
I am a bad epileptic. I love the Midway game centre, I love thunderstorms and fireworks, I like doing things for myself and baking.
At first when I got home I was trying to figure out where to go from here. Then I realized I do not have to go anywhere. I have to get a couple things in order and then simply enjoy life. that's what I am doing now. I am making the best out of any bad situation that I can, If I cannot then I simply wander outside and sit beneath the Maple and think. I have accepted my condition. I know what it means. It means I get to be more self aware than most people because I have to be. At least that assists me with my day to day decisions. That is it day to day. I am hoping for a full life but I am not expecting anything except to be happy. That I can have control of , this way I cannot be disappointed.
I have discovered I love creating things, making things. Doing things that physically leave a mark that I made it and I was There at that point in time. I like doing things I have some control over. I know this. I also know that it is a way to try to make up for the lack of control I have over my health.
I am happy back home. I am making plans for a garden come spring. I am getting back in touch with some friends. I am at peace. I miss my friends Back west but I know we will see each other again and they are all doing very well for themselves ( this helps make it easier on me as well) I love to learn my friends are doing well and that things are working out!.
I just realized it it one thirty six AM. Sleep is required.
Missing my friends back west makes me think back and aprreciate them so much more, and I wish the best for all of you . I will keep in touch and we will make more memories in the years to come. I honestly Love you guys HUGS! you know who you are.
I have no regrets. I have beautiful memories <3
I am spiking my Mohawk tomorrow provided it does not rain. I adore 13degree weather at the end of November but it is also highly disturbing.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Thoughts from under the Maple.
Life. Do you live it and risk it ending sooner, do you live it to your idea of living and make it all count. Do you play it safe and in the end realize that you never lived at all but merely existed.
Living for the moment does not mean you go around hurting people nor does it mean being overly reckless to others, yourself, or your body. It means you try your best not to let your afflictions and sorrows get the best of you.
Living means taking it all in stride and not letting the little things get to you but sparing the time to appreciate all the little things you can that make you smile. Its about having enough respect for yourself to realize what you need and want out of life and going for it.
It means not taking negativity or drama that others or yourself bring to you. It means ignoring what people think about what makes you happy, unless they get genuinely concerned for your health and well being then listen to them and honestly think if this really is the life you want and the path you wish to travel down. Just in case we don't get another chance.
It means doing random acts of kindness no matter how small because even something you deem small and unsubstantial could make someones day. This life and this world is not just about you.
Living is hard. It's meant to be. If it was easy all the time we would never learn nor appreciate anything. Not greatness, not love, not family, not the fragile thread that binds us all inexplicably together in an intricate web. That would be disastrous. What a pathetic life we would live If we could not appreciate Happiness, Joy, Sorrow,Beauty, Patience. What a pathetic life we would live. The easy road is mere existence .
This has been thoughts from under the maple tree which so beautifully graces us with her presence in the back yard.
Living for the moment does not mean you go around hurting people nor does it mean being overly reckless to others, yourself, or your body. It means you try your best not to let your afflictions and sorrows get the best of you.
Living means taking it all in stride and not letting the little things get to you but sparing the time to appreciate all the little things you can that make you smile. Its about having enough respect for yourself to realize what you need and want out of life and going for it.
It means not taking negativity or drama that others or yourself bring to you. It means ignoring what people think about what makes you happy, unless they get genuinely concerned for your health and well being then listen to them and honestly think if this really is the life you want and the path you wish to travel down. Just in case we don't get another chance.
It means doing random acts of kindness no matter how small because even something you deem small and unsubstantial could make someones day. This life and this world is not just about you.
Living is hard. It's meant to be. If it was easy all the time we would never learn nor appreciate anything. Not greatness, not love, not family, not the fragile thread that binds us all inexplicably together in an intricate web. That would be disastrous. What a pathetic life we would live If we could not appreciate Happiness, Joy, Sorrow,Beauty, Patience. What a pathetic life we would live. The easy road is mere existence .
This has been thoughts from under the maple tree which so beautifully graces us with her presence in the back yard.
ALL HAIL THE CUPCAKE!
Please note I am mioramay in this chat. This happened at random and was so epic I had to post it.
mioramay: im eating a devils food cake cupcake with a piece of moka crunch chocolate melted on top with chocolate icing and sprinkles
mioramay: therefore i win
DarkFireLove: :O
mioramay: your argument is invalid.
DarkFireLove: wtf
DarkFireLove: i wasn't making an argument
mioramay: LMAO
mioramay: i know
DarkFireLove: and i veto your invalidation of said argument!
mioramay: I reject your proposed vetos and say you ma'am are eyeing up my orgasmic cupcake.
DarkFireLove: I override your rejection of my proposed veto and say you ma'am are jealous of
my creation of said orgasmic cupcake.
mioramay: it was my creation not yours therefore that argument was invalid
DarkFireLove: but, what if in another universe, i taught you to create that creation and therefor brought your knowledge into this life and you created it yourself through rememberance of anothe rlife?
mioramay: well i infact co created it it was partially done by my friend
mioramay: and therefore you would have had to alter two realities
DarkFireLove: how do you know that there was a possibility youy and your friend both learned it from me in a past life?
mioramay: which we all know would cause the fabric of the dimensional atmosphere to implode and self destruct
DarkFireLove: not if you go by the theory of quantum physics or string theory wherein there are at least 12 universes
mioramay: were silver sprinkles and moka crunch chocolate brs around long enough ago to make that a functional possability
DarkFireLove: and within each, there are millions of possibilities
mioramay: yes yes but to alter the states of two beings in one timeline is where it will malfunction
mioramay: you woiuld kill off that timeline
Guest_dillyjuice: all of which do not coinside
mioramay: woman do not get me going on quantam physics
DarkFireLove: not necessarily
DarkFireLove: oh, it's on
mioramay: but you would have im[ploded the set frame in which we are communicating now
mioramay: and since we are still in this set frame it did not happen
Guest_dillyjuice: ish imploded
Guest_dillyjuice: @.@
mioramay: unless you dimension jump whilst holding on to three seperate timelines without forgettnig a detail
mioramay: lmao
mioramay: oh dilly
DarkFireLove: however, once the set frame is disrupted, usually in an altered state of reality such of meditation, dreaming, or drugs, then any amount of possibilities can be changed on one specific area and thus causing enough of a disruption to where time travel would be varily possible
DarkFireLove: hence such ideas as: deja vu, or feelings of nostalgia without ever remembering being in a set area before in a similar situation
DarkFireLove: otherwise, such possibilities as multiple ideals and creating ones own future would not be implied
DarkFireLove: therefor, neither the past, present, nor future are set in stone, creating an unlimited time loop where nothing really has happened, completely destroying reality
mioramay: hmm
mioramay: maybe thats why i have seizures, i dimension jump far too often
DarkFireLove: therefor, returning to the original argument, i could have very well created your creation and retaught it to you without youe ver knowing it was really me
DarkFireLove: hence, i win said argument
DarkFireLove: lol
mioramay: !
mioramay: BUT
mioramay: if you altered and unaltered then altered it would leave too big of a rift in the time space continuum and the world would be highly different and the fabric of space and time continuuity would be broken
mioramay: and everyone would be seeing parts or samples of said alternate realities in which you have interfered
mioramay: its the ripple effect
DarkFireLove: very true
DarkFireLove: however
DarkFireLove: taking into thought the idea of a nonexisting time frame in the ripple effect where time is an illusion we created, we would call these moments times of "tripping" deja vu or the familiar stranger
DarkFireLove: where there could have been multiple points where people have intertwined for a short second, looking almost identical to a present point in time and then on a second look, the entire scene could change into another world completely
DarkFireLove: in this thought, we are creating our realities every second of the day with or without consious thought
DarkFireLoveDarkFireLove Whisper: so, if i had altered a specific point in time, but wanted to keep the world wholly unaltered in a specific manner, the best way would be to encorporate this moment as a distant memory when it was varily plausible to create it in a dream like state making it seem unrealistic or impossible
mioramay: hmm yes for a second but in order to commuicate long enough to teach me abot the cupcake would take up to half hour!
DarkFireLove: again, not necessarily
mioramay: therefore the interactions of the trip effect would take at least as half as long as it took you to interfer and change
DarkFireLove: again, not necessarily
mioramay: therefore the interactions of the trip effect would take at least as half as long as it took you to interfer and change
DarkFireLove: i could simply "drop" or give you the recipie without knowledge of you knowing it was me
mioramay: but how would you know if i looked at it? or if i even used it?
DarkFireLove: therefor never actually coming into contact with you directly and simply carrying the knowledge that i taught it to you through a piece of paper
DarkFireLove: i wouldn't, i would just have to assume you did at one point
mioramay: out of all the universes it is plausable that you slipped it to me and i never saw it but invented the cupcake anyways out of my own free flowing thought
DarkFireLove: that is also true
mioramay: 'maybe this cupcake was destined to be in this time line one way or another and so it made certain it would manifest
DarkFireLove: maybe it's the unverisal cupcake creation that proves there is such a thing as a multi universe and an altered reality which we each create on a daily basis
DarkFireLoveDarkFireLove Whisper: 0.0
mioramay: THATS IT!
DarkFireLove: XD
mioramay: we have solved the mystery! the answer is cupcake!
DarkFireLove: i figured it out lol let's go get this patented!
DarkFireLove: and make millions!
DarkFireLove: we are amazing mio lol
mioramay: oh yes! if that man convinced people to quit there jobs and sell there homes because the apocalypse was here we can convince the world that the cupcake is creation manifested into perfection!~
DarkFireLove: well duh!
DarkFireLove: think about it
DarkFireLove: it's a culinary creation that can be created of anything froms avory to sweet
mioramay: whoohoo!
mioramay: im eating a devils food cake cupcake with a piece of moka crunch chocolate melted on top with chocolate icing and sprinkles
mioramay: therefore i win
DarkFireLove: :O
mioramay: your argument is invalid.
DarkFireLove: wtf
DarkFireLove: i wasn't making an argument
mioramay: LMAO
mioramay: i know
DarkFireLove: and i veto your invalidation of said argument!
mioramay: I reject your proposed vetos and say you ma'am are eyeing up my orgasmic cupcake.
DarkFireLove: I override your rejection of my proposed veto and say you ma'am are jealous of
my creation of said orgasmic cupcake.
mioramay: it was my creation not yours therefore that argument was invalid
DarkFireLove: but, what if in another universe, i taught you to create that creation and therefor brought your knowledge into this life and you created it yourself through rememberance of anothe rlife?
mioramay: well i infact co created it it was partially done by my friend
mioramay: and therefore you would have had to alter two realities
DarkFireLove: how do you know that there was a possibility youy and your friend both learned it from me in a past life?
mioramay: which we all know would cause the fabric of the dimensional atmosphere to implode and self destruct
DarkFireLove: not if you go by the theory of quantum physics or string theory wherein there are at least 12 universes
mioramay: were silver sprinkles and moka crunch chocolate brs around long enough ago to make that a functional possability
DarkFireLove: and within each, there are millions of possibilities
mioramay: yes yes but to alter the states of two beings in one timeline is where it will malfunction
mioramay: you woiuld kill off that timeline
Guest_dillyjuice: all of which do not coinside
mioramay: woman do not get me going on quantam physics
DarkFireLove: not necessarily
DarkFireLove: oh, it's on
mioramay: but you would have im[ploded the set frame in which we are communicating now
mioramay: and since we are still in this set frame it did not happen
Guest_dillyjuice: ish imploded
Guest_dillyjuice: @.@
mioramay: unless you dimension jump whilst holding on to three seperate timelines without forgettnig a detail
mioramay: lmao
mioramay: oh dilly
DarkFireLove: however, once the set frame is disrupted, usually in an altered state of reality such of meditation, dreaming, or drugs, then any amount of possibilities can be changed on one specific area and thus causing enough of a disruption to where time travel would be varily possible
DarkFireLove: hence such ideas as: deja vu, or feelings of nostalgia without ever remembering being in a set area before in a similar situation
DarkFireLove: otherwise, such possibilities as multiple ideals and creating ones own future would not be implied
DarkFireLove: therefor, neither the past, present, nor future are set in stone, creating an unlimited time loop where nothing really has happened, completely destroying reality
mioramay: hmm
mioramay: maybe thats why i have seizures, i dimension jump far too often
DarkFireLove: therefor, returning to the original argument, i could have very well created your creation and retaught it to you without youe ver knowing it was really me
DarkFireLove: hence, i win said argument
DarkFireLove: lol
mioramay: !
mioramay: BUT
mioramay: if you altered and unaltered then altered it would leave too big of a rift in the time space continuum and the world would be highly different and the fabric of space and time continuuity would be broken
mioramay: and everyone would be seeing parts or samples of said alternate realities in which you have interfered
mioramay: its the ripple effect
DarkFireLove: very true
DarkFireLove: however
DarkFireLove: taking into thought the idea of a nonexisting time frame in the ripple effect where time is an illusion we created, we would call these moments times of "tripping" deja vu or the familiar stranger
DarkFireLove: where there could have been multiple points where people have intertwined for a short second, looking almost identical to a present point in time and then on a second look, the entire scene could change into another world completely
DarkFireLove: in this thought, we are creating our realities every second of the day with or without consious thought
DarkFireLoveDarkFireLove Whisper: so, if i had altered a specific point in time, but wanted to keep the world wholly unaltered in a specific manner, the best way would be to encorporate this moment as a distant memory when it was varily plausible to create it in a dream like state making it seem unrealistic or impossible
mioramay: hmm yes for a second but in order to commuicate long enough to teach me abot the cupcake would take up to half hour!
DarkFireLove: again, not necessarily
mioramay: therefore the interactions of the trip effect would take at least as half as long as it took you to interfer and change
DarkFireLove: again, not necessarily
mioramay: therefore the interactions of the trip effect would take at least as half as long as it took you to interfer and change
DarkFireLove: i could simply "drop" or give you the recipie without knowledge of you knowing it was me
mioramay: but how would you know if i looked at it? or if i even used it?
DarkFireLove: therefor never actually coming into contact with you directly and simply carrying the knowledge that i taught it to you through a piece of paper
DarkFireLove: i wouldn't, i would just have to assume you did at one point
mioramay: out of all the universes it is plausable that you slipped it to me and i never saw it but invented the cupcake anyways out of my own free flowing thought
DarkFireLove: that is also true
mioramay: 'maybe this cupcake was destined to be in this time line one way or another and so it made certain it would manifest
DarkFireLove: maybe it's the unverisal cupcake creation that proves there is such a thing as a multi universe and an altered reality which we each create on a daily basis
DarkFireLoveDarkFireLove Whisper: 0.0
mioramay: THATS IT!
DarkFireLove: XD
mioramay: we have solved the mystery! the answer is cupcake!
DarkFireLove: i figured it out lol let's go get this patented!
DarkFireLove: and make millions!
DarkFireLove: we are amazing mio lol
mioramay: oh yes! if that man convinced people to quit there jobs and sell there homes because the apocalypse was here we can convince the world that the cupcake is creation manifested into perfection!~
DarkFireLove: well duh!
DarkFireLove: think about it
DarkFireLove: it's a culinary creation that can be created of anything froms avory to sweet
mioramay: whoohoo!
Monday, September 5, 2011
best response to hate ever.
please note i am neither stranger 1 or stranger 2 omegle.com now has an option to ask a question and observe the chat. My question was " how do you feel about equality ?" and some how the response got to this. please note stranger#2's response to a closed minded moron.
Stranger 1: you're a weird girl.
Stranger 2: Why?
Stranger 1: what the fuck is up with being ''bi''?
Stranger 2: Because i say porno and Masturbation are normal?
Stranger 1: Trying to fit in?
Stranger 2: Well no.
Stranger 2: I was born this way :)
Stranger 1: Fucking pick one.
Stranger 2: No, im happy being bisexual.
Stranger 1: ''Hurrhurr i was just born i wanna be bi hurrhurr''
Stranger 2: No, i didnt want to be bi.
Stranger 1: then don't.
Stranger 2: I just am, can't help it.
Stranger 2: :)
Stranger 1: that's fucking dumb.
Stranger 2: No
Stranger 2: It's natural
Stranger 1: No, it isn't.
Stranger 2: Alot of animal species have gay or bisexual animals
Stranger 2: about 800 actually ;)
Stranger 2: So yes, it is very natural and normal. :-)
Stranger 1: no.
Stranger 1: not really.
Stranger 1: it's looked down upon in society.
Stranger 2: Maybe where you live.
Stranger 2: But not where i live.
Stranger 1: where do you live? Gayland?
Stranger 2: No
Stranger 2: holland
Stranger 2: And you live in America, right?
Stranger 1: HA. faggot.
Stranger 2: And your daddy is a republican right?
Stranger 1: Fuck no.
Stranger 2: Well, then there is no reason to be so narrow minded.
Stranger 2: And i am not a faggot, i am bisexual ;)
and here are two sad sad humans.
Stranger 2 has disconnected
and here are two sad sad humans.
Question to discuss:
how do you feel about equality
Stranger 2: bad idea
Stranger 1: It's terrible
Stranger 2: oh hey!
Stranger 1: People will just keep pushing for more
Stranger 2: we had the same idea that makes us equal
Stranger 1: And blame equality
Stranger 1: Gay people want more rights
Stranger 1: So what do they do?
Stranger 1: BITCHBITCHBITCH
Stranger 2 has disconnected
Saturday, September 3, 2011
things that make me laugh
Never try to argue with a nerd.
Del:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Del:
Del:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Del:
Guest_mioramay:
Del :
Guest_KuroOkamiIV:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramayGuest_mioramay :
Del:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_K:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramayGuest_mioramay :
Guest_:
Guest_mioramay:
Del has left the chat
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_mioramay:
Guest_:
Guest_:
wow what a summer!
ok so I have not posted on here in a while and honestly I am not sure why.
Here is a quick overview of what has occured over the last few months.
I moved into an apartment.
My neurologist put me on clobazam which turned out to be a benzodiazapine and made me sick as well as made me see dragon flies and such comig out of my walls. I took myself off of it after talking with the doctor. During that phone call he told me I have been on every medication and as such he does not know what else he can do for me but maybe my family doctor could help so good luck and good bye.
I started an indoor garden I have thyme, sage, basil, cherry tomatoes and a sunflower. My basil is epic.
I got to go see the mountains and soak in the hot springs. it was epic.
I had a seizure mid frolick as i was in midair and sprained both my ankles last friday.
I know eh such an exciting summer!
That is it for the quick update now onto an actual blog.
Cheers
MioraMay
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Random bits from my journal.
RANDOMNESS!
This is what my brain is like.
Always be wary of a little old lady selling strange jewelery, it may turn out to be a horcrux.
On a dark dreary day a stranger came to town. No one knew where she came from, only that they immediately needed to know more. She was five feet seven inches tall with long flowing crimson red hair. How was her hair that magnificent colour? No one had ever seen a person whether they were male or female had aught but blond,brown or black. Was she a witch? She had to be, but yet a witch could not look half as endearing. They decided to trust her and take her in as one of there own. That was their first mistake.
I am sitting in the panoramic bay window indulging in the sheer bliss of warm sunlight. So crisp,so pure, so languorous.
There are two games of MASH where the end results are as follows:
I live in a shack with Dracula and my pet tiger. I am a writer and I drive a dodge pickup.
My other half lives in a mansion with Madonna and there pet king kong. He is a tattoo artist and drives a viper GT .
Honestly I think I got there. Dracula vs. Madonna who would you rather live with?personally I think there would be far less stress and body image pressure from Dracula.
Stop.Breathe, feel your pulse, your life moving in moments. Fleeting away from you with each passing breath along with the rhythm of your heart. Breathe and on your inhale admire the simplicity of life, of existence, on your exhale relish in the beauty of life and death. Know that any moment could be your last. Are you happy?
Random thing that happened the other day. Some people crashed my house and I was attempting to figure out what music to put on. I asked if anyone like the clash. This is how it went.
Me: "Does anyone like the clash?"
Boy: "who's that?"
Me: " they are a band they sing 'rock the casbah' 'london calling' etc"
Boy: " I don't know who that is, is this them?"
Me: *Eyes wide open, head shaking, palm on forehead* " No this is Nirvana"
Boy: "Oh"
Me: " So name some bands you like"
Boy: "Megadeath, Nirvana........."
Me: " you like Nirvana but thought they were the clash?"
* silence*
This is what my brain is like.
Always be wary of a little old lady selling strange jewelery, it may turn out to be a horcrux.
On a dark dreary day a stranger came to town. No one knew where she came from, only that they immediately needed to know more. She was five feet seven inches tall with long flowing crimson red hair. How was her hair that magnificent colour? No one had ever seen a person whether they were male or female had aught but blond,brown or black. Was she a witch? She had to be, but yet a witch could not look half as endearing. They decided to trust her and take her in as one of there own. That was their first mistake.
I am sitting in the panoramic bay window indulging in the sheer bliss of warm sunlight. So crisp,so pure, so languorous.
There are two games of MASH where the end results are as follows:
I live in a shack with Dracula and my pet tiger. I am a writer and I drive a dodge pickup.
My other half lives in a mansion with Madonna and there pet king kong. He is a tattoo artist and drives a viper GT .
Honestly I think I got there. Dracula vs. Madonna who would you rather live with?personally I think there would be far less stress and body image pressure from Dracula.
Stop.Breathe, feel your pulse, your life moving in moments. Fleeting away from you with each passing breath along with the rhythm of your heart. Breathe and on your inhale admire the simplicity of life, of existence, on your exhale relish in the beauty of life and death. Know that any moment could be your last. Are you happy?
Random thing that happened the other day. Some people crashed my house and I was attempting to figure out what music to put on. I asked if anyone like the clash. This is how it went.
Me: "Does anyone like the clash?"
Boy: "who's that?"
Me: " they are a band they sing 'rock the casbah' 'london calling' etc"
Boy: " I don't know who that is, is this them?"
Me: *Eyes wide open, head shaking, palm on forehead* " No this is Nirvana"
Boy: "Oh"
Me: " So name some bands you like"
Boy: "Megadeath, Nirvana........."
Me: " you like Nirvana but thought they were the clash?"
* silence*
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