Stats Update.

HOLY HADES! Three posts in one day. I am on a roll@@@@@@@@@@@@= me rolling

     So I have moved back home to Ontario. It was a difficult decision but I know i made the right one. I am home. I am a tad safer. I can live and breathe again. I also have the Maple tree( I know it may sound lame but it is big and beautiful I believe it is almost a century old ) . I have my family, My support team.I have my Mommy and I am not ashamed to say it.

    I have had around six Grand Mals in the last three weeks. Two were on Tuesday.  Aside from that I also had a scary overly long petite mal or two. Of course there are always the small ones aswell.

   I am a bad epileptic. I love the Midway game centre, I love thunderstorms and fireworks, I like doing things for myself and baking.

    At first when I got home I was trying to figure out where to go from here. Then I realized I do not have to go anywhere. I have to get a couple things in order and then simply enjoy life. that's what I am doing now. I am making the best out of any bad situation that I can, If I cannot then I simply wander outside and sit beneath the Maple and think. I have accepted my condition. I know what it means. It means I get to be more self aware than most people because I have to be. At least that assists me with my day to day decisions. That is it day to day. I am hoping for a full life but I am not expecting anything except to be happy. That I can have control of , this way I cannot be disappointed.

I have discovered I love creating things, making things. Doing things that physically leave a mark that I made it and I was There at that point in time. I like doing things I have some control over. I know this. I also know that it is a way to try to make up for the lack of control I have over my health.

I am happy back home. I am making plans for a garden come spring. I am getting back in touch with some friends. I am at peace. I miss my friends Back west but I know we will see each other again and they are all doing very well for themselves ( this helps make it easier on me as well)  I love to learn my friends are doing well and that things are working out!.


I just realized it it one thirty six AM. Sleep is required.

Missing my friends back west makes me think back and aprreciate them so much more, and I wish the best for all of you . I will keep in touch and we will make more memories in the years to come. I honestly Love you guys HUGS! you know who you are.



I have no regrets. I have beautiful memories <3







 I am spiking my Mohawk tomorrow provided it does not rain. I adore 13degree weather at the end of November but it is also highly disturbing.

Thoughts from under the Maple.

     Life. Do you live it and risk it ending sooner, do you live it to your idea of living and make it all count. Do you play it safe and in the end realize that you never lived at all but merely existed.

     Living for the moment does not mean you go around hurting people nor does it mean being overly reckless to others, yourself, or your body.  It means you try your best not to let your afflictions and sorrows get the best of you.

      Living means taking it all in stride and not letting the little things get to you but sparing the time to appreciate all the little things you can that make you smile. Its about having enough respect for yourself to realize what you need and want out of life and going for it.

     It means not taking negativity or drama that others or yourself bring to you. It means ignoring what people think about what makes you happy, unless they get genuinely concerned for your health and well being then listen to them and honestly think if this really is the life you want and the path you wish to travel down. Just in case we don't get another chance.

      It means doing random acts of kindness no matter how small because even something you deem small and unsubstantial could make someones day. This life and this world is not just about you.

     Living is hard. It's meant to be. If it was easy all the time we would never learn nor appreciate anything. Not greatness, not love, not family, not the fragile thread that binds us all inexplicably together in an intricate web.  That would be disastrous. What a pathetic life we would live If we could not appreciate Happiness, Joy, Sorrow,Beauty,  Patience. What a pathetic life we would live. The easy road is mere existence .


This has been thoughts from under the maple tree which so beautifully graces us with her presence in the back yard.

ALL HAIL THE CUPCAKE!

 Please note I am mioramay in this chat. This happened at random and was so epic I had to post it.


mioramay: im eating a devils food cake cupcake with a piece of moka crunch chocolate melted on top with chocolate icing and sprinkles

mioramay: therefore i win

DarkFireLove: :O

mioramay: your argument is invalid.

DarkFireLove: wtf

DarkFireLove: i wasn't making an argument

mioramay: LMAO

mioramay: i know

DarkFireLove: and i veto your invalidation of said argument!

mioramay: I reject your proposed vetos and say you ma'am are eyeing up my orgasmic cupcake.

DarkFireLove: I override your rejection of my proposed veto and say you ma'am are jealous of 
my creation of said orgasmic cupcake.

mioramay: it was my creation not yours therefore that argument was invalid

DarkFireLove: but, what if in another universe, i taught you to create that creation and therefor brought your knowledge into this life and you created it yourself through rememberance of anothe rlife?

mioramay: well i infact co created it it was partially done by my friend

mioramay: and therefore you would have had to alter two realities

DarkFireLove: how do you know that there was a possibility youy and your friend both learned it from me in a past life?
 
mioramay: which we all know would cause the fabric of the dimensional atmosphere to implode and self destruct

DarkFireLove: not if you go by the theory of quantum physics or string theory wherein there are at least 12 universes

mioramay: were silver sprinkles and moka crunch chocolate brs around long enough ago to make that a functional possability

DarkFireLove: and within each, there are millions of possibilities

mioramay: yes yes but to alter the states of two beings in one timeline is where it will malfunction
 
mioramay: you woiuld kill off that timeline

Guest_dillyjuice: all of which do not coinside

mioramay: woman do not get me going on quantam physics

DarkFireLove: not necessarily

DarkFireLove: oh, it's on

mioramay: but you would have im[ploded the set frame in which we are communicating now

mioramay: and since we are still in this set frame it did not happen

Guest_dillyjuice: ish imploded

Guest_dillyjuice: @.@

mioramay: unless you dimension jump whilst holding on to three seperate timelines without forgettnig a detail

mioramay: lmao

mioramay: oh dilly

DarkFireLove: however, once the set frame is disrupted, usually in an altered state of reality such of meditation, dreaming, or drugs, then any amount of possibilities can be changed on one specific area and thus causing enough of a disruption to where time travel would be varily possible

DarkFireLove: hence such ideas as: deja vu, or feelings of nostalgia without ever remembering being in a set area before in a similar situation

DarkFireLove: otherwise, such possibilities as multiple ideals and creating ones own future would not be implied

DarkFireLove: therefor, neither the past, present, nor future are set in stone, creating an unlimited time loop where nothing really has happened, completely destroying reality

mioramay: hmm

mioramay: maybe thats why i have seizures, i dimension jump far too often

DarkFireLove: therefor, returning to the original argument, i could have very well created your creation and retaught it to you without youe ver knowing it was really me
 
DarkFireLove: hence, i win said argument

DarkFireLove: lol

mioramay: !

mioramay: BUT

mioramay: if you altered and unaltered then altered it would leave too big of a rift in the time space continuum and the world would be highly different and the fabric of space and time continuuity would be broken

mioramay: and everyone would be seeing parts or samples of said alternate realities in which you have interfered

mioramay: its the ripple effect

DarkFireLove: very true

DarkFireLove: however

DarkFireLove: taking into thought the idea of a nonexisting time frame in the ripple effect where time is an illusion we created, we would call these moments times of "tripping" deja vu or the familiar stranger

DarkFireLove: where there could have been multiple points where people have intertwined for a short second, looking almost identical to a present point in time and then on a second look, the entire scene could change into another world completely

DarkFireLove: in this thought, we are creating our realities every second of the day with or without consious thought

DarkFireLoveDarkFireLove Whisper: so, if i had altered a specific point in time, but wanted to keep the world wholly unaltered in a specific manner, the best way would be to encorporate this moment as a distant memory when it was varily plausible to create it in a dream like state making it seem unrealistic or impossible

mioramay: hmm yes for a second but in order to commuicate long enough to teach me abot the cupcake would take up to half hour!

DarkFireLove: again, not necessarily

mioramay: therefore the interactions of the trip effect would take at least as half as long as it took you to interfer and change

DarkFireLove: again, not necessarily

mioramay: therefore the interactions of the trip effect would take at least as half as long as it took you to interfer and change
 
DarkFireLove: i could simply "drop" or give you the recipie without knowledge of you knowing it was me
 
mioramay: but how would you know if i looked at it? or if i even used it?
 
DarkFireLove: therefor never actually coming into contact with you directly and simply carrying the knowledge that i taught it to you through a piece of paper
 
DarkFireLove: i wouldn't, i would just have to assume you did at one point
 
mioramay: out of all the universes it is plausable that you slipped it to me and i never saw it but invented the cupcake anyways out of my own free flowing thought
 
DarkFireLove: that is also true
 
mioramay: 'maybe this cupcake was destined to be in this time line one way or another and so it made certain it would manifest

DarkFireLove: maybe it's the unverisal cupcake creation that proves there is such a thing as a multi universe and an altered reality which we each create on a daily basis
 
DarkFireLoveDarkFireLove Whisper: 0.0

mioramay: THATS IT!
 
DarkFireLove: XD
 
mioramay: we have solved the mystery! the answer is cupcake!
 
DarkFireLove: i figured it out lol let's go get this patented!
 
DarkFireLove: and make millions!
 
DarkFireLove: we are amazing mio lol
 
mioramay: oh yes! if that man convinced people to quit there jobs and sell there homes because the apocalypse was here we can convince the world that the cupcake is creation manifested into perfection!~
 
DarkFireLove: well duh!
 
DarkFireLove: think about it
 
DarkFireLove: it's a culinary creation that can be created of anything froms avory to sweet
mioramay: whoohoo!

best response to hate ever.

 please note i am neither stranger 1 or stranger 2 omegle.com now has an option to ask a question and observe the chat. My question was " how do you feel about equality ?"   and some how the response got to this. please note stranger#2's response to a closed minded moron.

Stranger 1: you're a weird girl.

Stranger 2: Why?

Stranger 1: what the fuck is up with being ''bi''?

Stranger 2: Because i say porno and Masturbation are normal?

Stranger 1: Trying to fit in?

Stranger 2: Well no.

Stranger 2: I was born this way :)

Stranger 1: Fucking pick one.

Stranger 2: No, im happy being bisexual.

Stranger 1: ''Hurrhurr i was just born i wanna be bi hurrhurr''

Stranger 2: No, i didnt want to be bi.

Stranger 1: then don't.

Stranger 2: I just am, can't help it.

Stranger 2: :)

Stranger 1: that's fucking dumb.

Stranger 2: No

Stranger 2: It's natural

Stranger 1: No, it isn't.

Stranger 2: Alot of animal species have gay or bisexual animals

Stranger 2: about 800 actually ;)

Stranger 2: So yes, it is very natural and normal. :-)

Stranger 1: no.

Stranger 1: not really.

Stranger 1: it's looked down upon in society.

Stranger 2: Maybe where you live.

Stranger 2: But not where i live.

Stranger 1: where do you live? Gayland?

Stranger 2: No

Stranger 2: holland

Stranger 2: And you live in America, right?

Stranger 1: HA. faggot.

Stranger 2: And your daddy is a republican right?

Stranger 1: Fuck no.

Stranger 2: Well, then there is no reason to be so narrow minded.

Stranger 2: And i am not a faggot, i am bisexual ;)



and here are two sad sad humans.

Question to discuss:

how do you feel about equality

Stranger 2: bad idea

Stranger 1: It's terrible

Stranger 2: oh hey!

Stranger 1: People will just keep pushing for more

Stranger 2: we had the same idea that makes us equal

Stranger 1: And blame equality

Stranger 1: Gay people want more rights

Stranger 1: So what do they do?

Stranger 1: BITCHBITCHBITCH

Stranger 2 has disconnected

things that make me laugh

 Never try to argue with a nerd.

Del: well im a even bigger dork cause once this mmo i want becomes free ill play it more than this

Guest_mioramay: oh which one? i play tales of pirates and tried last chaos but i couldnt get into it and now dnd online is free

Guest_mioramay: so whoot to that

Del: star

Del: trek....

Guest_mioramay: nice!

Guest_mioramay: i am assuming you saw the new movie?

Del: yea

Guest_mioramay: did you get to see it on a big enough screen where you could see r2d2 floating around in space at one point?

Del : r2d2 in star trek?

Guest_KuroOkamiIV: its true

Guest_mioramay: yes

Guest_mioramay: there is a scene when they show out the window

Guest_mioramayGuest_mioramay : and there is a mini r2d2 in space

Del: ohh

Guest_mioramay: its a hidden egg

Guest_K: they was tryin make a funny part

Guest_mioramay: yep

Guest_mioramay: you have to look but it is there

Guest_: no r2d2 was in star wars

Guest_mioramay: lol yes

Guest_mioramay: but in star trek the newwest movie

Guest_mioramay: they have a random shot of r2d2 floating around space like sace junk

Guest_mioramay: space junk^

Guest_: no star treck was a tv show with the vulcan "spock"

Guest_mioramay: lol they also made movies

Guest_mioramay: and the r2d2 was a nerd joke

Guest_mioramay: in the movie

Guest_: yes but star treck is about exploring space

Guest_mioramay: yes i know

Guest_mioramayGuest_mioramay : believe me i am a full on nerd i know these things

Guest_: im not a nerd but i know that much

Guest_mioramay: lol look up star trek movie

Del has left the chat

Guest_mioramay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0gpuYWCHtw

Guest_mioramay: watch that

Guest_mioramay: see star trek movie wih r2 d2 as space junk

Guest_: i watched the origonal reruns'

Guest_: i am good

wow what a summer!

ok so I have not posted on here in a while and honestly I am not sure why. 

Here is a quick overview of what has occured over the last few months. 

I moved into an apartment.

My neurologist put me on clobazam which turned out to be a benzodiazapine and made me sick as well as made me see dragon flies and such comig out of my walls. I took myself off of it after talking with the doctor. During that phone call he told me I have been on every medication and as such he does not know what else he can do for me but maybe my family doctor could help so good luck and good bye.

I started an indoor garden I have thyme, sage, basil, cherry tomatoes and a sunflower. My basil is epic.

I got to go see the mountains and soak in the hot springs. it was epic.

I had a seizure mid frolick as i was in midair and sprained both my ankles last friday.

I know eh such an exciting summer!

  That is it for the  quick update now onto an actual blog.

Cheers
MioraMay

Random bits from my journal.

RANDOMNESS!
This is what my brain is like.


Always be wary of a little old lady selling strange jewelery, it may turn out to be a horcrux.



On a dark dreary day a stranger came to town. No one knew where she came from, only that they immediately needed to know more. She was five feet seven inches tall with long flowing crimson red hair. How was her hair that magnificent colour? No one had ever seen a person whether they were male or female had aught but blond,brown or black. Was she a witch? She had to be, but yet a witch could not look half as endearing. They decided to trust her and take  her in as one of there own. That was their first mistake.

I am sitting in the panoramic bay window indulging in the sheer bliss of warm sunlight. So crisp,so pure, so languorous.


There are two games of MASH where the end results are as follows:
I live in a shack with Dracula and my pet tiger. I am a writer and I drive a dodge pickup.
My other half lives in a mansion with Madonna and there pet king kong. He is a tattoo artist and drives a viper GT .
Honestly I think I got there. Dracula vs. Madonna who would you rather live with?personally I think there would be far less stress and body image pressure from Dracula.


Stop.Breathe, feel your pulse, your life moving in moments. Fleeting away from you with each passing breath along with the rhythm of your heart. Breathe and on your inhale admire the simplicity of life, of existence, on your exhale relish in the beauty of life and death. Know that any moment could be your last. Are you happy?


Random thing that happened the other day. Some people crashed my house and I was attempting to figure out what music to put on. I asked if anyone like the clash. This is how it went.

Me: "Does anyone like the clash?"
Boy: "who's that?"
Me: " they are a band they sing 'rock the casbah' 'london calling' etc"
Boy: " I don't know who that is, is this them?"
Me: *Eyes wide open, head shaking, palm on forehead* " No this is Nirvana"
Boy: "Oh"
Me: " So name some bands you like"
Boy: "Megadeath, Nirvana........."
Me: " you like Nirvana but thought they were the clash?"
* silence*

Musings on a train.

There is a smoke stack alone, unhindered. Standing strong in it's solitary state upon a field of snow. Bordered by a road on one side, train tracks on the other. It appears as though time has forgotten it.

  Many view it as an eyesore,one that should be torn down to make way for another modern convenience . As if the world absolutely requires another strip mall.

 I personally find it beautiful. A transient reminder as you fly by on the train that although everything around you has been torn down or destroyed, You can persevere and remain through the clearing of smoke and ash clouds to reveal another path. 

The world may have moved on and yet there you remain unhindered and unchanging, still as strong as you once were, more beautiful than you were in your prime with the buildings and walls around you. More beautiful because you and you alone have made it through time. 

It is art. It reminds us of our past. Helps us realize that each of us have our own individual inner strength to remain and make a difference in the world, even though we may not know it we still have a chance to better our lives or to help someone else with theirs through example. 

I cannot help but admire you as the train pulls forward glancing back until you are fully out of sight. 

I wonder if you were left there on purpose or by accident. Either way I am glad you are still here with us to enlighten us with your silent wisdom. You will never hear this or if you do you will not understand it but from all of us who find solace in your subtle hidden beauty, thank you.

Breathe, just breathe.

Breathe as the world around you falls apart. Just imagine everything you have ever loved or are enjoying at the moment seems to blow itself up in your face as if to say " Ha gotcha! I am nothing that you thought I was. I do not mean anything you thought I did. I was compiled solely on lies and half truths. What are you going to do now?"

What do you do when those moments hit? What do you do when those moment turn into days and then BOOM! a month of nothing but frelling dren. Yes that's right I speak Sebatian. You know you adore it. Back to the topic. What do you do? What does anyone ever do? What are the options when these events unfold and turn your paradise or mediocre life that you just figured out how to cope with into a seemingly never ending abyss of feces.

In my mind you have a few options. 

 1. Ignore it. ( This never ends well. Every little thing that you ever tried to pretend did not bother you or you try to make your self believe you did not see or hear it all builds up and one day they explode. It's messy honestly you will never get the brain matter and blood spatter out of anything.) 

2. Talk to someone you trust about it.  ( Although most of the time you can't really trust the ones you thought you could or they give you the worst advice imaginable, or my personal favorite; they tell you that it is all your fault and you should have been aware that it was all going to turn into a cataclysmic event as you as a human being completely bite the big one.)

3. Meditate   ( If you can shut off that little voice in the back of your head that tells you you are doomed long enough to escape the world for a few moments and hopefully have some mental clarity as to how to further  handle the issue.)

4. Make little poems in your head as a temporary escape. 

        Example: In the shadow of the dawn

                      In the meadow grazes a fawn

                      One so full of love

                      It's soft face remeniscient of a dove

Yes I wrote that in the aforementioned feeling as earlier described. I know it bites. that's not the point.

5. Talk to the person who lied or told half truths about your findings and hope all goes well and your insecurities can be resolved, or attempt to fix the broken item.

6. Raise hell. yell scream punch something, break something ( very theraputic although temporary and hitting people is never good, unless they like it. Also make sure not to break anything valuable.)

7. Zone out and watch a movie and or TV show . Sit back watch it and be grateful your life is not that frelled up.

8.Art. write, draw,colour, paint, sew etc. Art is a productive venting point. If you feel like doing a glass mosaic it is a two for one deal you can vent by smashing glass then think and contemplate as life  flows through you in an electric charge of being as you reassemble the pieces as you feel they should be.

 When you start to feel a serene calm or stillness after one or all of these things breathe. Take out a notebook, hunt down a pen and make a list of what to do to improve your life if you can. You can also do this mentally.

Final step. Move on. Move forward. Learn from the past. Life is short live for today but plan for the future just in case. As for the past, well it is already behind you isn't it? you have already made it through you just have to gain the courage or stupidity to keep going whichever works for you.

Everything in 3's

This is about one of the worst days of my life. This day was not today it was in fact on Thursday, I delayed in writing to give myself a breathing rooms moment of pause so I may write it out more clearly then with anger and frustration clouding my judgment and writing capabilities. Now to be clear I am still frustrated and angry , just not to the extremist point I was last week.

    It all started at approximately 10:24 am. I had received my check in the bank and so I logged onto epost to check bills. This is normally not an overly shocking event they are normally relatively all around the same amount every month. This month was an exception to the rule, I was in shock and in hysterics withing seconds for before my eyes laid a gas and electric bill for 772$. A phone call and staring at the bill a few minutes later it turns out that although I have been paying my bills they have not billed me for gas since mid November for some unapparent reason and decided to throw it all on one bill. They also did not include the electric on this bill so next bill I will be charged for 2 months of electric. Is this even allowed? is this even legal?

      That was event number one. Onto event number two.

   At approximately10:52 am I received a phone call from my neurologists office saying they finally got the urgent fax from the medicentre. A week later. My neurologist is really worried about my left arm and to get to the nearest emergency room asap. The good news is that I can start a special diet for my epilepsy it is a modified atkins diet that allows a little more carbs then the standard ketogenic diet that they have used for epilepsy control since the 1920's. That was the only good news.

   Event number three.

   On the way out the door to the emergency room at noon I got the rejection letter from AISH. I do not need to go into why this is bad as I believe it is self explanatory.

So all three events combined left me in a state of melancholy, despair, anger, frustration, it was either break many many things whilst screaming at the top of my lungs uttering many obscenities or cry. As I was about to board the bus and go into public cry I did.

     Eight hours, a neck ex-ray and blood work later they determined I had nerve damage in my left arm and gave me a sling. They also sent off a letter to my neurologist about there findings.

     I have my specialist appointment this week. I cannot wait. The diet is going to be a challenge but on the upside I still get to eat bacon and cheese!

    I wrote these events as unattached as possible had I of written them a few days ago there would have been many foul words upon this page.

  More updates will be added as life continues flowing its ever ebbing path through space and time.

My life in clothes,

Clothes. They are all around us, on us, begging us to purchase them , to make them our own. Clothes, due to the fact that they are everywhere are being taken for granted. Clothes; the one thing we can use to add to our identity. Clothes; it is how people of the world sweep their eyes over  you and in one moment make a preconceived notion of who you are and what you like because of what you are wearing. Clothes; something simple has now become something completely complex in the miasma of culture.

For those of you who do not know me I am a highly complex creature ( I say creature as that is all humans are. pathetic, brilliant, genius, destructive, intelligent, amazing creatures). I love playing around with clothes, ripping them apart, adding studs, making eyelets, making them my own. I wear many different genres of clothing, punk,goth,prep,gypsy,hippie,granny,etc. It is do to this that some people have the audacity to call me a poseur.

    Vocabulary lesson! A poseur is someone pretending to be something they are not.

 I for instance would be a poseur if I was untrue to my eclectic clothing and music taste and stuck to only one genre, one facet of existence and behaviour schematic for the rest of my life. Thus I am not a poseur, I am an eccentric creature true to my nature.

  Why people judge others by what they are wearing is beyond me. If it makes them happy and they are not hurting anyone ( such as those people who wear tights with nothing over top which is what tights were intended for and nothing underneath which makes us want to rip our eyes out of our sockets from seeing far too much for our comfort zone as you saunter on by us unexpectedly subjegating us to your physique when we want a relaxing java day outing of peace and tranquility) then leave them alone because they have more balls then you do for wearing what they like outside of the "norm".

  Also what if that person who you think looks unfashionable and stupid for wandering around in loose comfy clothing, perhaps they are just having a comfy day, you in your pointed toe stiletto heels, pencil skirt, waist clincher et al  are just jealous that you are not that comfy.

So this is the end of the pointless rant about clothes for now it is morning , I have yet to have my tea and as such am pretty much writing this half awake. Perhaps I shall add more at a later date.

Cheers to all you reading this  :P  .....p.s if you want to go clothes shopping the stores in west ed are still having amazing sales on!  yay for 80% off hoodies and a new sweater for a mere 2.50$..... oh come on don't look at me like that ...I am the sale finder, I am only spreading the good news so everyone who realizes the clothes they bought last year no longer fit....do the world and yourself a favour...buy some new ones .....now ....and for really cheap!

Haiku

This is a haiku I wrote for English class. I don't even know if the teacher liked it to give me the 1% bonus mark for it due to me having to leave for the moment but hey I still like it :P

Spring

The sun is shining,

My knowledge is expanding,

Life is blooming 

Here is something I wrote when Anita and I were playing with different writing styles .

The Air was cold upon the sombre skin of the innocent.

Side note: for anyone who thinks it should be spelled somber, that is the American spelling I used the Canadian one as that is the right one so there !  : p 

Pondering over a pumpkin chai latte

  I am sitting in a Starbucks less than a block away from the school I just had to drop out of; 
contemplating what this means for me and my precious dreams. 

   Some egotistical self absorbed male decided it was a good idea to hold me down during
a grand mal, that is what has lead me to this point. A pumpkin spice latte in a downtown
Starbucks.

   I am oddly enough smiling through the alluring medley of cinnamon and whipped cream,
the subtle burst of pumpkin shining through  like a beacon of hope, a beautiful reminder
that humanity in all their ignorance and pride may have turned on me, but nature and her
fruits will always be here to comfort me, bring me to a place of strength and self awareness.

  Perhaps it is my path to get back to a long lost love, writing. I somehow forgot in the
oscillating structure of life what a soothing companion she makes amongst a world full
of cruel mistresses, games and entertainment that may distract you for a moment, but
never help you to heal your soul.

  I am not sure if it is the pumpkin/cinnamon combination, the short lived feeling as
though all my dreams had crashed; or the somber sounds of the Smiths playing in the
background.

Whatever it was that reawakened my need to write, I thank you from the depths
of my being for helping me turn a nightmare into a dream.